My heart aches

About 9 years ago I found this tiny newborn kitten, crying, squirming, dying. She was covered in dirt and fleas. I brought in her inside, washed her, plucked all the fleas off of her and wiped the puss off her eyes. Ran to the pet store, got some tiny bottles and milk. Since that day, she was mine and carved a place in my heart that is now in pain. She got sick and I had to let her go. It had been long coming and I thought I was prepared. I had in a strange way become distant with her as if I resented her slow departure. She was slowly becoming a cat I didn't recognize. She no longer pulled at my cereal bowl, she no longer knocked things off the counter, she no longer was the crazy dog-like cat that I knew. We would never again share corn on the cob.
It is amazing to me how this tiny furry creature could make me both so happy and now so sad. I wonder if she knew how much joy she brought me.Silly thought I know, even for me. A part of me thinks, its just an animal! And yet the pain is real and the sadness is deep. Death, loss, pain...all a part of life that gives us the ability to feel alive and true joy. Necessary I know, but still sucks! For those of you that have never loved a pet, this probably sounds ridiculous. For those of you who do though, well I know you're with me.

For all the time I had with her, for her entering my life and bringing me laughter and many happy moments...I am grateful. Frida...I will always heart you!  

She left us at about 3pm on October 20, 2009

P.S. For those of you who have my number, please no phone calls about this.

4 comments :: My heart aches

  1. Lo siento mucho Mónica!! Sé muy bien el significado de Frida en tu vida. Fue lindo haberla conocido y compartido la cama con ella!!! Te mando un beso!!! y ánimo!!!!! Con cariño Liz

  2. oh Frida...the crazy one eye bandit! she will be missed! Sorry for the loss Moni

  3. OH NO!!! Fridie! I'm so sorry, Monica! I know you are really hurting over losing Frida. I hurt, too, and the girls were really sad when I told them. We all loved her and had so many crazy and fun times with her as our entertainment. She gave us from-the-belly laughter, as she was the craziest cat I've ever known. She will truly be missed. My heart aches with you, because I know what it's like to lose a pet you love so much; my heart aches for you, because I know you are in pain and I know you are grieving. ~Maggie

  4. Sorry to hear about your cat. Keep your spirits up!!!

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